PREDICTIONS '08, Humorous
Part of enjoying life is having a good laugh. With that in mind, the alleged wits at Frugal Yankee central are making their Top Ten Predictions for 2008. Here they are.
• In a surprise move, NE Patriot coach Bill Bellichek begins a second career as a stand up comic. He'll be taking it one gig at a time.
• The 2012 New Hampshire Primary will be held next week.
• Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream joint ventures with Harpoon Brewery to make the first India Pale Cherry Garcia Sorbet. Eat responsibly, inebriation comes after a few pints.
• Quentin Tarantino becomes the new editor in chief for Yankee Magazine. Traditional photographs of bucolic New England are replaced by slaughterhouses, brain splatters, out of order story lines, denuded forests and road kill.
• Turkeys, deer and other woodland animals arm themselves making for a much more interesting hunting season. The NRA supports the right to arm bears.
• Karl Rove moves to Vermont. Vermont moves to Maine.
• Gypsy moths, wooly adelgids and other invasive species campaign for legal immigration status. Lou Dobbs claims they are stealing jobs from native insects and should be deported.
• Rhode Island downsizes. No one notices. No one cares.
• Theo Epstein develops a new theory for quantum physics. David Ortiz finds a solution for world poverty. Josh Beckett whips up a BBQ sauce that makes everyone plotz. Manny is still Manny and the Yankees still suck.
• Maine lobsters sue OSHA demanding better coastal waters rather than the polluted ones they work in now.