Reviews for September 5, 2008

See Garen talk about this week's films with Karen Swenson of NE Cable News, just "CLICK HERE" or read on, MacDuff.

BABYLON A.D.
d:Mathieu Kassovitz (Gothika, La Haine)
c: Vin Diesel, Michelle Yeoh, Charlotte Rampling, Melanie Thierry, Gerard Depardieu

Vin Diesel stars as a mercenary in a post-apocalyptic, dystopian world, hired to transport and stunningly beautiful innocent to New York from some weird convent. Michelle Yeoh is under utilized as the 'sister'/protector of the naif. The under utilized Charlotte Rampling plays the mother of the naif as well as a high priestess.

The under processed cinematography is dark, blurry and confusing. Its made worse by inept editing and a script written by a first year phys ed major. Oh yeah, Vin Diesel's voice is still impressive.

Best thing about this movie, the poster, which is a rip-off of much better posters. One last note, there are reports that the director is even telling people to avoid it. That's good advice.
Grade: C minus

COLLEGE. (R)
d: Deb Hagen (won a shorts awards at the Woods Hole Film Fest)
c: Drake Bell, Kevin Covais, Andrew Caldwell, Hayley Bennett

Tag Line: Best Weekend. Ever - yeah but for who? It certainly isn't the audience.

Look, expectations for this film were low to begin with, so imagine my surprise when I realized this wasn't just another lame, sophomoric excuse for a film with gratuitous skin, copious amounts of binge drinking, drugs along with splattering of pig poop along. I worried this film would have no discernible reason for being other than keeping a mediocre director out of work and a script from seeking self-destruction with a shredder. Nope, this was one of those instructional videos every parent should see before sending their child off to college. It exposes what frat life is really like, how most human beings are total asses and how college officials are never around when you need them. Yep, this film didn't live up to my low expectations.

The only saving grace in this film is Hayley Bennett who has a screen presence and you'll be seeing her in more films.
Grade: C minus

DISASTER MOVIE
d: Jason Friedberg, Aaron Seltzer
c: Matt Lanter, Vanessa Minnilo, Gary "G-Thang" Johnson, Nicole Parker
From the same folks who gave us such classics as Scary Movie, Epic Movie and Meet The Spartans, comes this lackluster, humorless, poor excuse to hire bad actors. The theme of this disaster is disaster movies, hence the witty title, just in case the target demographic needed some elucidation. Replete with rip-offs, and enough bad jokes to rival the stench reserved for four day old road kill. Isn't it curous the trailer calls it 'the funniest comedy of the summer', and it comes out three days before Labor Day?
Grade: D as in disasterous movie

TROUBLE THE WATER (nr)
d:Tia Lessin, Carl Deal.
c: Kimberly Roberts, Brian Roberts, Larry Nobles.

Won SUNDANCE documentary grand prize From the producers of Fareinheit 9/11
About Hurricane Katrina, but from a not seen before angle the people most directly affected
Kimberly Roberts is a young woman from the 9th Ward in New Orleans. She has no idea what lies before her or how she will conquer it, but her spirit is the spirit of all brave women throughout time .
Katrina was only the beginning of their problems.
Remarkable DIY video footage by Kimberly, before, during and after Katrina.
The a documnetary of their journey through FEMA, the US government to Memphis and back to New Orleans.
As a viewer you want to give up on this film, but don't. It gets better and more disturbing.
These marginal people may not be your neighbors, but they are Americans.
Their spirit to survive is a testament to them. The film reminded me of Steinbeck's Grapes of Wrath in its subject, the oppression and discrimination of people hurt by a natural calamity while the government did nothing.
Grade: A minus

BANGKOK DANGEROUS (R)
d:Oxide Pang and Danny Pang (The Eye)
c: Nicholas Cage
A heartless hit man goes to Bangkok and gets a conscience. Hmm, where have we seen this before. Is there really good action and lots of bodies falling? Maybe there is terrific pyrotechnics? Maybe the plot has some unique twists? Maybe all the best scenes are NOT in the trailer? Maybe Nicholas Cage's hair piece looks good? If the films is released on the first weekend after Labor Day, the answer is no.
Rating: Incomplete. The film was withheld from critics. Always a bad sign.