After traveling many miles to be with friends and family, we will fondly recall those sturdy Pilgrims who survived the tough 1620 winter. Afterwards, and with the help of some really nice Native Americans, they grabbed a couple of turkeys, baked some pies and with God on their side, they had a big ol' BBQ. It was a celebration of good food and good neighbors. It warms our parochial cultural hearts to know we are continuing that Thanksgiving tradition, right?
Wrong!
Just about everything about Thanksgiving is wrong except the meaning we now bestow upon it. With full disclosure in mind and with honesty at the forefront, here are 10 Thanksgiving Myths Debunked
#1 THE HISTORY IS ALL WRONG
There are many factions, most notably from the Christian right, who want to imbue Thanksgiving with religious meaning. The certitude of heaven bestowing bounty upon Godly souls in a time of struggle has resonance. Having it stretch back to the early 1600s is a legacy. To these folks, it is a sign of religious and cultural continuity. Nothing wrong with that idea, but it simply isn't the case. Native Americans would never have been invited if the first Thanksgiving were a religious celebration. The Puritans were pretty particular who could come to their religious ceremonies, and God-less heathens were most assuredly excluded. The second error in this continuity theory, is the event took place sporadically until the 1860s when Abe Lincoln, looking for a symbol to unite the divided nation during the Civil War, created the national holiday.
#2 THE HISTORY IS ALL WRONG, pt 2
The didn't call themselves Pilgrims, they called themselves Saints. They didn't dress in black or wear tall hats with buckles on them, despite what the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority may believe. All of that came later as revisionists projected their ideals onto those early settlers. Oh yeah, those Pilgrims were a randy lot. They weren't as pious as some would have you believe. They were begetting and forgetting with the worst of us.
#3 THE HISTORY IS ALL WRONG, pt 3 
That story about those religious freedom seekers landing on a rock in Plimouth is more hooey. The legend rests entirely on the less than rock steady testimony of one Thomas Faunce, a ninety-five year old man. Thomas told the story more than a 100 years after the Mayflower landed, which would have made him negative 5 years old, hardly a reliable source. The 'rock' story took hold after World War II. It was published, it tapped into the cultural zeitgeist and became lore. Besides Plymouth needed some touristo bucks so the quickly asserted its veracity.
Oh yeah, the story that the Mayflower was way off course is also wrong. They wanted to end up in the New York area, which was part of Virginia way back when. They missed, but not as much as most people think. And let's give them a break GPS systems weren't in place back then and while we're being honest, most Americans are so geographically challenged, they couldn't find Plymouth rock on a map today.
#4 EVEN THEN, IT WASN'T THE FIRST
Depending on who you ask or which axe they are grinding, the first thanksgiving to be celebrated in the New World wasn't on Plimouth Plantation. Some historians think there was a celebration earlier at the nearby James River. There is a town in Texas which says it had the first Thanksgiving some 23 years earlier, and let's not forget Virginia. Having a Thanksgiving in the post harvest time was a European tradition. So there was probably one before the 1621 version.
Oh yeah, let's not forget to mention that many Algonquin tribes had been celebrating a similar feast for oh, about 2,000 years.
#5 THE DAY ITSELF
The first Thanksgiving was in 1621 and was a three day affair with games, shooting matches, and other such festive events. It didn't necessarily happen in November, more like it was sometime between September or early November. As stated earlier, Lincoln made it part of the established culture back in the 1860s. It wasn't until President Franklin Roosevelt made it the last Thursday in November did it become officially then. This date was pushed for a variety of reasons, one being commercial retail interests who wanted an official kickoff for the Christmas season.
#6 THANKSGIVING FOOTBALL
Despite what some folks may believe, football and Thanksgiving is a relatively recent add-on. It was marketing trick started in 1934 when the owner of the Portsmouth (OH) Spartans moved to Detroit. They renamed themselves, the Lions. But they still needed a gimmick to bring people to the game. They scheduled a game with the world champions Chicago Bears, got it broadcast and had a hit on their hands. Obviously all that tryptophan had made folks susceptible to listening/watching sports.
On a side note, just the other day, the Pontiac Silver Dome, Detroit's sporting arena, built for $57 million was sold for just over $500,000 at auction. No amount of football or turkey can camouflage the truth, Detroit needs a serious make over.
#7 BLACK FRIDAY IS THE BIGGEST SHOPPING DAY OF THE EAR
Nope. It's a big one, but usually the biggest shopping day of the year is one of several days on the run up to Christmas. The busiest shopping day falls between the 19th and the 23rd. The date will vary from year to year depending on when Christmas falls, weather and other factors. Black Friday usually runs as the fifth busiest day. Cyber Monday is busy, but there are plenty of busy days that top Cyber Monday in terms of internet purchases.
#8 RETAIL MYTH MAKING
Black Friday & Cyber Monday are not real. They are constructs by the retail industry to suck as much money out of your bank account as possible. Of course, complicit with this deceit is the media which is always looking for something to put on the air. One little tidbit to remember, during the Franklin Roosevelt administration Thanksgiving was moved up a week to add another 7 days of Christmas shopping. The idea was to spur consumer spending and boost the economy. It was moved back after a couple of years. Now that's something to give Thanks for, one fewer week of Christmas shopping season.
BTW: It is called Black Friday, as in the profit black versus in the red loss.
#9 THE MENU
What was served was deer, shrimp, wild fowl, oysters, cod, bass, and other seasonal vegetables. Corn was usually ground for later use in the winter, so no corn on the cob.
What wasn't served was turkey. Pumpkin pie and cranberries require flour and sugar. Both in short supply to the early Colonists. So that wasn't served either. Lobsters which were plentiful were never even considered. The Pilgrims thought these were a variety of sea borne insect and not suitable for eating. Not having any of those tasteful restaurant lobster bibs is the real reason the edible crustacean was bypassed.
#10 MISNOMERS
Cranberry sauce isn't a sauce. If it were a true sauce it would be runny and we'd be slathering all over something. It is basically a side dish. While we're busting myths, cranberries are not a cure for urinary tract infections. The little red berry may help prevent them, but cure? Sorry Charlie.
Back to the meal, stuffing is not necessarily stuffed inside the big bird. For health reasons, many people cook it outside of the bird. Then again, it is also called dressing, but it isn't that either.
So when you go to your mom's for Thanksgiving. Be sure to drive there on the parkway, park in the driveway, and remember it's not sauce and it's not dressing. They are misnomers.
BONUS - TRYPTOPHAN
Turkey is not laden with tryptophan. The ratio of this chemical to protein is nearly non-existent. Food that has a more pronounced ratio are eggs, cheddar cheese, sesame seeds, chicken, egg whites, cod and as everyone knows whose had it, caribou.
The reason we get so lethargic after the T-day meal, is not what was eaten, but how much as well as imbibing in a few too many.
So this Thanksgiving as you sit down to eat your turkey, cranberry sauce and stuffing, regale your relatives and friends with these debunked myths. Then when they say how "interesting" that all was, you'll know, that is just another myth being spread.
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